Thursday, July 21, 2011

Retro Feminism: Dorothy Parker


"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."

My friend Emma recently alerted me to the genius of Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), and while we exchanged our new favorite quotes via facebook chat, we also lamented the fact that we'd never heard of her. Woe is us! But woe no more, because now we know.

A writer, satirist, poet, and Oscar-nominated screenwriter, civil rights activist, and left-winger, and inspiration for Daria, Dorothy Parker was pretty darn cool person. (I on the other hand, am not. You can tell by my use of the phrase, "pretty darn cool.") You can read about her yourself on wikipedia, or get one of her books of poetry, but here I'm going to share some of my new favorite quotes:

"Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa."

"And if my heart be scarred and burned,
The safer, I, for all I learned."

"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

"If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you."

"Time doth flit; oh shit."

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

"Women and elephants never forget."

"Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair."

"The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism."

"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

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